She might be a long-time companion to your client, and a pet you’ve treated for many years in your practice.  He could be the new family dog with health condition typical to his breed, or the indoor/outdoor kitty who was the victim of a car accident.  In any case, grief starts at the moment someone realizes there could be an end to the relationship they have with someone they love.

There is often a misconception that the grief process starts when a person loses a loved one, but many times individuals start the grieving process at the thought of losing someone.  It is no different with pets.   As veterinary care providers, you are often on the front lines, witnessing the various faces of grief and often sharing in your clients’ grief.  Since it is your job to facilitate the diagnosis, treatment and healing of animals, losing a pet in your practice can be challenging for you in many ways.

Are there ways to make it a little easier for your clients, and for you and for your team?

Yes, and it starts by first understanding the stages of grief which can occur in any order and at any time.  Elizabeth Kubler-Ross is one of the most well-known authors on the subject and she has identified five stages:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

In the veterinary clinic, you are most often exposed to the first three stages. 

Denial is often expressed in disbelief or clients believing that there are additional tests or forms of treatment that have not been explored.  It is important to acknowledge that you can relate to those feelings of denial, and may have experienced them yourself before reiterating the facts, figures and probabilities once again.  Let your clients know that it is ok to question and that this is a natural response to learning bad news about their pet.  Most of all, give them the time and space they need to process the news.

Some clients may progress directly into the anger stage, and some may even misdirect their anger toward you or your team.  Blame may often accompany the anger.   It is important that you and your team support one another first and foremost before you can effectively handle a grieving client.  This support and encouragement must be a part of your every day practice culture.  Celebrate the successful diagnosis and treatment of pets in your practice.  Encourage one another when there is nothing more that you can do.  Remember that you are all well-trained and resourceful.  You work hard to keep healthy and heal every animal in your care.  That strength will help you when you work with patients who express anger as part of their grieving process.  And as for handling your clients, many times, they simply need an ear to listen, further education about their pet’s condition and patience as they move through this stage.

Sometimes you may also experience your client bargaining by asking questions, sometime questions you may have already answered.  They want to know if there are other treatment options, any way to extend their time with their pet, more tests or second opinions to see if there might be another possible diagnosis.  Again, acknowledging that you hear your client and that these questions are valid is the most important first response.  Don’t take the questions personally.  Explain again and engage your client in the conversation to make sure they understand the reality of their pets’ situation.  In some very extreme cases, you may want to invite your client to get a second opinion.  Again, time and information helps your clients with this phase.

We understand that your practice is busy and working with grieving clients can require time and can be emotionally challenging for your team.  Having additional resources on hand in the clinic can be helpful to lead your clients to the next step and give them the time they need to process their loss.

We provide grief materials and workshops to our veterinary partners, however, we also provide links to helpful websites, articles, books and counselors on our website – www.PawsWhiskersandWags.com.  Feel free to put links on your site to our website and some of those resources listed there as well.  Offering your clients additional information will allow you to continue to focus on keeping pets healthy, and give you the assurance that you made a difference at the end of their lives as well.